Following up with Fox for Almost Human

I wrote them again at: askfox@fox.com to plead for Almost Human, that series I told you about on March 12. I even edited my original letter into this letter just in case they didn’t get to read it the first time. They aren’t as smart as you, they don’t subscribe to my blog. ;)

Here is the new version:

I’m back again, to plead for this show. Please renew it. I sincerely loved it, and adding John Larroquette near the end of the season, as well as The Wall, was a wonderful lead in for new stories in a NEW SEASON.

Again I will say I have thoroughly enjoyed this series. Karl Urban and Michael Ealy have an awesome chemistry as partners, and the supporting cast and story line have been superb.

Don’t forget that I gave up a favorite show to watch this week after week because I am old school and only have an antennae and like to watch the show when it airs. After the 3rd show I was hooked for life. And still am….please don’t pull a Firefly on us this time. Please give us more than just one season. I don’t want to have to go into therapy for this series too! Please, please renew this show!! I honestly need it in my life.

Seriously, it is a great show and has a strong viewership. Even though our numbers may not be as large as you would like, the show will gain more of us as it continues. Many more will come. People are even using it as April Fool’s bait, trying to mock those of us that love the show so much into believing you did already renew it. You have to renew this show!

Thank you for taking time to read this, and know that I am a devoted fan of this show. I reiterate that I would love to have a new season to enjoy as well.

Sincerely,
Angela Fitch

I have no idea if anyone reads the emails at askfox@fox.com. But I guess I’ll keep sending them little notes just in case they do. I hope the show come back. Sci-fi withdrawals, le sigh.

Just for you entertainment, here is a link to the April Fool’s prank I mentioned. Hope I get to come back with news of a true renewal, no joke! :) See ya! Angela

 

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Perfect?

I’m sorry I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t mean to let you down.

I just wanted a friend who could love me all of the time.

We are called to love the unlovely, but that’s not really what we practice.

We want others to be perfect, then we’ll show no malice.

You say that wasn’t the problem, but because my behavior didn’t please you

I had to leave you sad, and walk away because I knew.

Jesus wants a relationship with me, not behavior modification.

If I have to prove to you I’m worthy, then you are not my friend.

“You can’t be hearing from God! I know it’s wrong! It’s not what I would say or do.”

And therein lies the problem, you aren’t my god and I’m not following you.

I have come to a place where I’m not rejected, I’m not despised, I am accepted.

You tell me He leads me with guilt, shame and condemnation.

But He says I’m free, and those things are not from Him.

I live in His conviction, a place that’s safe from judgment.

Do you really wonder why you are so unhappy? Why you feel so spent?

Because you aren’t following Love, you are following requirement.

So you look at yourself, at me, at the humanity at its worst and its best

To you, yourself included, all these imperfect ones are just a bunch of rejects.

We can never live up to all of that, and that is not what He expects.

Living our lives like that will lead to nothing but hate and death.

You won’t like the things I am saying, you aren’t rejected, you I accept.

Maybe someday you’ll love me too….not with callous words but with warmth and intent.

I’m sorry I’m not perfect, I didn’t mean to let you down…..

I forgive your self-importance, and love you . . . just the way you are found.

I’ll let Him talk to you, and ask for His sweet words to bring

His love so close to you that you will breathe Him in deep.

He’s the perfect one, in love and word and in deed…

Learn to love like Him. That is the behavior you need.

Angela Wilkerson Fitch on April 2, 2014

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The Monuments Men – A Really Good Movie

I love history. I forget that sometimes. Throw me in an old graveyard to read tombstones, an old building like the Biltmore House in Asheville, NC or a museum and I can get lost for days (if security would let me). So the historical perspective of The Monuments Men was a big draw for me. My review doesn’t have any big spoilers, but there may be a few small ones. Overall, they will not take away from your movie experience in and of themselves.

The plot kinda goes like this: Based (a little loosely at times) on a true story and events that happened near the end of World War II, The Monuments Men builds the story of a great treasure hunt for the booty the Nazi’s have taken from every country they have plundered. Not only that, but if the Nazi regime fell, they were going to destroy everything and wipe thousands of years of history off of the books. If they couldn’t own it, nobody else could either, I guess. The rescue of the world’s art is the concept, and an unlikely team is put together of mostly older gentlemen with either education or experience with art, and/or art restoration and history. The unlikely bunch portrayed in the movie slowly figure out how to work together, and make loyal bonds that we assume last a lifetime. It was honestly an impossible mission that somehow worked. These guys were willing to risk their lives to help in some way defend and rescue some of man’s greatest artistic achievements.

The movie has lots of action and drama, and a few really good lines as well. There were also a few ‘face palm’ moments for me, but you will have to figure those out for yourself. Over all though I really enjoyed how the characters figured each other out and bonded. There were a few tough scenes, after all they are portraying a war. Strangely, most of the critiques I read of this movie before we went wanted it to be tougher, harder, more true war action. Maybe I’ve just grown soft as I’ve aged, but in my opinion there was plenty about the reality of war in it. The reality of war isn’t all bombs and guns and death, although there are a few scenes that give you a taste of this. Sometimes though, most of the time, it’s about people forced out of their homes, living lives they never dreamed of in their worst nightmares, doing without and struggling just for basic necessities. There were several scenes that showed this reality, even though the movie didn’t dwell on it. I liked how they handled these scenes. The mission was important, and the movie focused on this as well as the strange turns of luck that sometimes made it all work.

I also really enjoyed the actors in this movie. It was a big name cast that played very well together: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban, Hugh Bonneville and Cate Blanchett. Bill Murray did an excellent job with his role as Richard Campbell. His character gets teamed up with Bob Balaban’s Preston Savitz. Their relationship starts off pretty rocky at first, and I won’t spoil it all for you. Suffice it to say that they find some creative and very touching ways to get along. They were my favorite pair, but I really enjoyed each character. Sometimes the jump between scenes was a little wide for me, but you follow the story pretty well and there is a part of the rescue that sews the whole movie together.

I love these guys.

This was a fun and enjoyable movie. There are other blogs that are documenting glitches in history or action that the movie had, so I’m not going into that here more than to make a couple of points. Some of the characters portrayed are made from a historical composite of a combination of people. Also, the actual team for the real projects was around 400 people. You have to conclude in the movie that there are lots of people working with the team to save the art, even though you are never directly told this. You will want to watch some of the credits too. There are black and white photos of the real Monuments Men with some of the art they saved. I will leave you with some of my favorite quotes from the movie.

George Clooney as Lt. Frank Stokes: “You can wipe out an entire generation, you can burn their homes to the ground and somehow they’ll still find their way back. But if you destroy their history, you destroy their achievements and it’s as if they never existed. That’s what Hitler wants and that’s exactly what we are fighting for.” (speaking to the President and some executives)

He rephrases this for his men later – Lt. Frank Stokes: “If you destroy an entire generation of people’s culture, it’s as if they never existed. That’s what Hitler wants, and it’s the one thing we can’t allow.”
Bob Balaban as Pvt. Preston Savitz: “So we get to shoot some Nazi’s?” (in answer to Lt. Stokes)

Hugh Bonneville as Lt. Donald Jeffries: “Well, the chaps are all very anxious to get started. We have your architect from Chicago, a sculptor, a director of design at the school of fine arts, and a few other experts in various fields of art.” (Describing this unlikely military team)

Matt Damon as James Granger (who has been trying to get the character Claire Simone to help them most of the movie) “This is a directive signed by Hitler that says if he dies or if Germany falls, they are to destroy everything.”
Cate Blanchett as Claire Simone (finally!): “How can I help you steal our stolen art?”

To help clarify this quote and why I like it: The character of Claire Simone appears to have been based on Rose Valland, a Parisian museum curator who was drafted by the Nazis during the Paris occupation to assist with art “acquisitions”. As depicted in this film Valland secretly kept a detailed ledger of all works that passed through Nazi hands, the original (often Jewish) owner of each work, and the location in Germany where each item was eventually transported. The Monuments Men had another valuable treasure in this ledger with all of that information.

I came for the history, I stayed for the characters. I hope you also watch and enjoy it. I plan on purchasing it and adding it to my current movie collection. When you have a chance to see it, come back and share your favorite quotes with me. :)

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Almost Human – My Letter to Fox

I watch some TV, but not a lot. I watch NCIS. All 11 seasons of it thank you. I watch a couple of other comedies and one drama regularly. But as you can see from this list I don’t watch a lot.

There is another show, a wonderful new show on Fox. (Well it was on Fox. It’s in limbo right now. That’s what this post is about.) The name, as you may have guessed from my title, is Almost Human. It stars Karl Urban, Michael Ealy and a great supporting cast. It is sci-fi, has great plot points and action with humor! What’s not to love? And did I mention Karl Urban? :D Why yes, yes I did!

When Fox released their list of renewed series, Almost Human was on the “probably not” part of the list, aka not on the list at all. :( I have posted a few times on their Facebook page ( Almost Human ) and someone suggested emailing Fox directly concerning this. So I did. Immediately. Why didn’t I think of that before? Below is the letter I shared with them:

To: askfox@fox.com concerning Almost Human:

I have thoroughly enjoyed this series. Karl Urban and Michael Ealy have an awesome chemistry as partners, and the supporting cast and story line have been superb.

I gave up a favorite show to watch this week after week because I am old school and only have an antennae and like to watch the show when it airs. After the 3rd show I was hooked for life.

Please, please renew this show!! I honestly need it in my life. Seriously, it is a great show and has a strong viewership. Even though our numbers may not be as large as you would like, the show will gain more of us as it continues.

Thank you for taking time to read this, and know that I am a devoted fan of this show. I would love to have a new season to enjoy as well.

Sincerely,
Angela Fitch

End of letter.

Have you ever written to a network about a show that you loved, or hated? What are some of the series you have been enjoying so far this year? I have written my note, so that is that. I hope at least that it is read by someone, some intern or VP, somebody. And I do sincerely hope that Almost Human makes it in and we get to see a second season. Until we don’t, there is always hope. :) Hope, hope hope!!

Hoping this finds you happily enjoying life and a little tv as well, maybe it’s on in the background while you are reading this. Until next time, Angela

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What’s On My Mind

I haven’t done much with this blog in a while. A little post here, a little post there. So while this may seem like an odd post for me, I really have something I want to say about some of the anti-gay legislation that is out there trying to become law, in part by saying “…this is not anti-gay! We just don’t want to take care of anyone if they say they are gay!” Right. There’s nothing anti about that. Right. Here is an illustration to help you understand:

 

This of course is Jon Stewart from the Daily Show, who always finds the perfect way to make a point and poke fun in a very snarky manner about the ridiculous and ludicrous things in the real world. The top part is someone from MSNBC making the point he is snarking. I didn’t make the meme, it’s just out here in cyber world. So onto my rant.

Christians outside of this country are persecuted. Period. I had a very sweet and dear friend from Nigeria who lost her life a few years ago, in her own country, for nothing more than being a Christian. Those that killed her didn’t even drum up any other charge against her, that was the only one that I am aware of. She died because of being a Christian. In Nigeria. Not here. Nigeria. Christians are persecuted overseas a lot. But not here, not that way. Even though a lot of times what they base this type of legislation on is American Christian persecution. I’m not saying that’s what is stated to have motivated this particular piece of legislation, the possibility of that kind of statement or claim just always seems to be lingering in the background.

I will also state that I do, very seriously, consider myself a Christian. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I know the Father Who is God, and I have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. I think that some of my Christian friends, and maybe some of my non-Christian friends, will not like what I am about to share. But I’m sharing anyway. (At this point I think Nikki and Steph are my only 2 readers anywho, so here goes.)

“…I’m not going to make a cake for this Gay couple’s wedding.” I’m assuming this example is because the new legislation, this one in Kansas and another in Arizona, is wanting to be able to refuse service to Gays based on the employee/company’s religious beliefs. Or on their ANTI-GAY belief. You can’t refuse to do something for someone with out being “anti” something about them. It would be dumb to refuse money without some belief or standard behind it. So, that being said, that’s not the point I want to make; it’s just a point for illustration.

Jesus called the believing community to love.

The world will know that community by their love for one another. – John 13:35.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:8.

“‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” – Mark 12: 30-31.

And Jesus demonstrated His and the Father’s and Holy Spirit’s love in this way: But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8.

Wait, wait!! Someone tell Jesus that He sacrificed Himself incorrectly. He should have sacrificed Himself to refuse service to GAY PEOPLE. Yeah, that’s it. Refuse service grounded on our beliefs. That’s what His sacrifice was for. Thank you legislation, for showing me the error in Jesus’ ways.

As a Christian, I don’t know about you but I am sick and tired of the world looking at me like I am one of THOSE Christians that hate them because they are different. The world is SUPPOSED to be different, folks. Christians are told to not conform to the world. That has now been twisted to say, “Let’s make the world CONFORM to us.” Do you really wonder why the world hates us so much? It’s not because of all the LOVE we are displaying, which is what it should be. They should be jealous of our love and want what we have. Instead a few Christians are making a mockery out of us by demonstrating HUGE lacks of love and lots of hate and using Jesus, through their beliefs, as justification for it.

Jesus loves us, not because we “accept Him.” He loves us just because he loves us. We don’t have to do anything to get this love beyond receiving it, and He loves us BEFORE we receive it. Again, Romans 5:8: But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS. That means Jesus loves every single person everywhere, whether they accept His love or not. So those of you that want to keep hating on Gays or any one else for that matter, think about that. Jesus and God love every single person you hate. And He died to prove it. Just like He died for you.  The job of the Holy Spirit is to convict people and tell them how to live the life that God wants them to. Don’t be the busybody kind that runs around telling all of us how wrong we are and sinful we are. Love on people and let God’s love wash them and show them the things they need to change. But no. Your way is so much better. Yeah, let’s propagate hate instead of love. That’ll really show God how much we appreciate Jesus dying for us. Yeah!

If there are more than just Steph and Nikki out there, you can comment or call me or write to me if you want to about any of this. It is way too complicated an issue for me to be able to do much more than this with it, at least in one post. BUT MY POINT IS: As Christians, we are supposed to be winning the world through love, not hate, because THEY DON’T BELIEVE what you do. Hate of another person’s sexual orientation, financial status, marital status or any other status is not the platform Jesus called you to bring the world to Him. Love for us caused His great sacrifice, and you want to honor that with hate? Come on people. Hate is NEVER the answer. Never.

Rant over. For now.

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Created For Love

To Create – bring (something) into existence, cause (something) to happen as a result of one’s actions. The following is a reflective message from my Creator.

You are my Beloved creation.

You are my Beloved.
I created you -
not just “made” you.
I created you for love.

You are a creator, you create dolls, and angels, hearts and bears. You create stories with words, produce pictures with paint. You construct, build, make.

You create. You “make.” Do you not look at these creations with love and wonder? Do you not sometimes think: “My hands made this! How unique, how special, how pretty, how nice or maybe even useful.” Even toys you create serve a purpose….to bring fun and love and joy to others.

If an inanimate object you created can be so special to you, special to those you make them for….can you – just for this moment – imagine how much more special an Animate creature like yourself could be to Someone who created them.

How special you are to me!

I knit you together in your mother’s womb: flesh and blood and bone, ligaments and tendons. Hair, eyes, ears, hands, feet.*

Heart.

I create. I created you. You are loved. You are Beloved. . . you are.

You create. You create things to be loved and held, played with, read. You love the things you create just because you created them.

I love you just because. Because I am, and because I can. I love you. You are loved.

I am loved. I was created for love, from love, by love. You were as well.

This was a message God gave me today. It was meant for more than just myself, so here it is. Written words, scattered like seeds to an atmosphere, waiting to be carried forward.

You are loved. You, yes you, the one reading these words right now.
You are the one He calls Beloved.
He loves you.
He is love.**

*Psalm 139:13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

**1 John 4:8 ….The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love…..

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Water Washes….

I am the sand. The sun kisses my face, and I am warmed. I am no longer lying here alone, You are with me and I am safe in your arms. It is so hard for me to trust that the water won’t rush up and wash all of me away….but no, it has come to stir me…to move me….to help me breathe and move and resettle in a different pattern, a new light. Wash me Water. Make me clean and fresh and new. Help lift me up to a better place, above these worries and regrets. Lift me up to a place of hope and strength and peace.

The water rushes up to me in a great, powerful wave, washing, turning, twisting my soul. My grains tumble through the current, rinsing away the bitterness, the angst. I tumble and move, tossed and turned. I am reaching out for answers, for stability, for hope, waiting for the quiet to come. The water is strong and clean and moves me until I am no longer choked and caught in the muck.

The water pulls back and quickly recedes. Like a rock tumbler coming to the end of its cycle, the turbulence is gone. Quiet, I settle here in a new place, where the water has washed my soul, knowing that peace will come. Peace to begin again, to start a new day.

I have brought myself down into a pit. You can lift me up and you have said you will never leave or forsake me. Please don’t forsake me now. I feel as if I have a tenuous grip on everything right now, I want to be able to move through life with strength and grace, not trudging through the muck like I am right now. I love you Lord. You love me. Grace and mercy, please. Great grace and mercy.

The judgments of old must pass away. I must let go of those things that are embittering me. Forgive, bless, release and move on….Help me remember these things.

Father, we can rebuild me. We have the technology. We have the capability. I will be better than before. Better, stronger, faster. ;) I need a new plan.

Abba, help me build that plan. You gave Noah plans to build that great ark. You gave David plans to build your great temple. The plan for my life must be simpler than those, I want to build a better life. Give me the plans as you gave Moses and David, personal plans to build the life of  strength and grace and love I want. Thank you.

She waits for the Water to return, to finish what it has started. A daily cycle that will bring freshness and peace once the turbulence has passed. The Water rushes up….

 

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I am…..

I am awake – the water rushes up to meet me and kiss my shore. The water is cool to the touch, but as the sun warms each grain of my sand, I will send warmth back into the water. The waves are frothy and white, foaming up as the water’s edge reaches ever farther with its fingers, trying to tease my sand into its depths. The water is a strong blue out there in the quiet places, and lays smooth like glass above the inky depths.

I wait for the rush to begin it’s inevitable withdrawal – back, back, back to her own depths she goes. The water stops her teasing reach and gently washes back into herself.

Without her touch I can now begin to feel myself instead of her. I feel gritty and dusty, laying flat beneath the feet of others as they rush back and forth, to and fro, in their need to find a better place.

“But wait!” I strain to say. I am a better place, I am a warm and secure place. I will mold to your needs, fit myself to your shape. Without a form to fit myself around, I feel I lose shape and begin to shift and sway and blow away, drifting in the wind. I feel flat without it. My fullness comes when I feel I am helping others.

We were friends. I trusted you. I spent my time with you and on you. I enjoyed our trips together, to yard sales and thrift stores, to the places that we ate together. I thought we were friends, that you felt about me the way I felt about you. But now I think you didn’t want to be alone with yourself, so you used me to help keep your demons away. In the end you literally wanted to see me die, to kill me. You wanted to see me dead, all because you couldn’t take away from me things that really only belonged to me to begin with. If you couldn’t have my life and my loves, you didn’t want me to have it or them either. I deserved to die in your eyes, to pay for not laying down and giving everything up. The truth was I really did want you to have some of those things, they just weren’t mine to give to you.

I hope God takes your demons away. I hope He gives you His wonderful love, and angels, and His Son to walk with you everyday. I hope you find peace. I hope I find a friend who loves me equally to how I love them. I hope your mind is not tortured and that my body becomes well. I hope we both find health. I hope that when the demons begin to whisper their lies again that you will have clarity enough to see the lie for what it is and stand up for the truth that is also evident. The truth will not serve your self interest. The truth will serve another. I hope you can do this. . . stand up and defend the truth. I hope you can forgive yourself for your betrayals, and learn to love yourself correctly, not selfishly, not with greed or malice towards others. I hope you can learn to love yourself with mercy and loving kindness. I hope you know God’s true love for you, not the self condemning thing you made it into.

Am I stuck? Can I really lift this up and get it out and let it all go? What will it really be like if I can let go of this and move forward to something better?

I let go of my expectations of friendships.
I move forward to being more accepting of humanity’s flaws and imperfections.

I let go of my expectation of elder years with family and friends who have faithfully stood by me my whole life.
I move forward to remember the few faithful ones that did remain and I treasure their loyalty and acceptance, as well as accepting the wonderful new friends I have been blessed with and that now faithfully stand by my side.

I let go of the resentment for the losses I’ve suffered and the things that have been stolen from me.
I move forward to the abundance the future holds for me, treasures laid up that can never tarnish or be stolen, given to me now as I have need of them.

I let go of my ‘poor me’ attitude.
I send to that place love and acceptance and grace for a reality I did not want or expect, but a reality that can be good nonetheless.

I let go of my expectations that I must immediately prove that I didn’t lose anything when my marriage (and those friendships) fell apart.
I move forward into accepting these losses and know that I am not defined by loss because of these things.

———————————

I am sharing my first ponderings from the writing class I told you about. I am glad I have this tool to help me open up again. Sharing my heart with yours, Angela

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Beginning a Practice of Forgiveness

Last week I went to a writing class. It was not your big name, large audience type of writing class. There were no big name authors, no fan girl types in the group. No large audience attended, we were not in a big conference center. But that didn’t stop the class from having a very powerful impact. Instead of the big name/big room, we had something smaller. Something a little more intimate. Something a little more special. We met at a small studio in downtown Greenville, SC.

When we signed up for the event on Facebook, we were told: “Using creative writing techniques, participants will explore moments of their past that have caused unresolved hurt or shame, will write what acknowledgement, apology or reparation they might want, and envision what their lives might be like if they could relinquish resentment, indignation and anger.” Sounds pretty straight forward, easy enough. I thought about a few things that I could work on (I wish I only had one thing, but that’s just not realistic. :) ) So I had something in mind to work on, and even though I debated a couple of times throughout the day about going, I headed out to meet a friend and we drove over to the studio.

Now, any of you that follow my blog or pop over from time to time will have noticed that I haven’t had much to say lately. I really can’t say why either, other than a couple of little points I made in my last post about missing Paris and feeling depressed off and on. It’s not like me in real life to be silent for so long either, so I went to this class hoping it would prime my pump so to speak, for writing and sharing again. The class was also part of a bigger event called “The Forgiveness Project – The ‘F’ Word” which was being hosted by Greenville Yoga and Raspberry Moon Skin Therapy. I hadn’t had time to view the exhibit before the class, so I spent a few minutes with my friend beforehand reading through part of the stories the exhibit shared. It was touching and inspiring and awesome and a little scary all at the same time. You can read lots of stories of forgiveness overcoming tragedy on their website too, so pop over there and dip your toes in too. We had been greeted as we entered the class by Heather, who was our facilitator that night and we started preparing our space for our class.

With a combination of a little of the stories from the exhibit still running through my mind, as well as the bits and pieces of stuff I had been thinking of working on, I sat down on a mat and leaned slightly against a wall for support and listened as Heather began to explain, to open the door to the wonderland she was preparing to take us into.  She asked for us to settle on an intention for ourselves, what we wanted or hoped to get out of the class. She wanted us sitting comfortably, opening ourselves up to this experience and helping us relax and breathe, just breathe and let go. I was trying to follow her, but was still having a little trouble doing that. But I made myself sit still and start to take deep breaths and voila! I was able to relax and my focus and clarity on what I needed to work on came very quickly. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t any of the things I had thought of before hand. It’s amazing what taking just 3 deep, long breaths can do to calm your body and your thoughts down. There are all sorts of medical studies that prove it works if you want to Google them, but even with that evidence and the Heartmath work I used to do more regularly I forget this simple thing quite often. Yes, I’m sitting here laughing slightly at myself as I type this. A few deep breaths help ease our tension in almost every situation. Remember when you were told to count to ten before your let your anger go? I bet that’s so you can breathe a little to calm down, don’t you?

Anyhow, I breathe and I focus and I listen to Heather’s gentle instruction – Put yourself in your perfect place. The beach, near a river, in the mountains, wherever. Imagine yourself as part of this place and begin writing: “I am…” and include a color, a smell and a texture. She gave us a couple of examples and then gave us time to write. My place was the beach, and the position I saw myself in surprised me but was very illuminating for me. I’ll share my little piece with you tomorrow.

The class continued through 5 writing steps that led us through what the description promised: exploration, acknowledgement, what we hoped from the experience for ourselves, what we hoped for the other person/situation, and writing to let go and move forward. The class was very encouraging to me and I did feel like I can start to write again. I had to shake my head and laugh a little at the end of it though. I didn’t pay anything for this class, we were told we could make a donation as we entered the class if we wanted, but it wasn’t required. Several weeks ago I did pay for a writing class, writing through grief so a little similar in theme if not emotion. However, that class was not as fruitful for me. It goes to show you never know where your muse or inspiration will land sometimes.

I am really thankful and very happy that I joined the class that evening. I hope to share some of my writings here with you as I continue with my practice of writing through my forgiveness. Who knows? Maybe my muse will talk to your muse, and all of our muses will have our pumps flowing shortly. Talk to you later, Angela

Sunset November 2010

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In a Paris Frame of Mind . . .

Saudade pinterest size

Over at abeautifulmessinside, The Mess offered us a challenge. “I’d like you to pair the right words or a favorite quote with a selfie and share it with us.  Be creative.  You don’t even have to show us your face. Let’s be intimate and try real “in-to-me-see”. I hope you’ll share with us because it helps us see more clearly into ourselves. I know you. You have lots to say and this is a safe place for you to be heard.

Well, I decided to take her up on it. It has taken me a while today to figure this one out. To start off with, I didn’t have a picture or a quote to use, just a realization that lately I am constantly think of myself as SAD! This is truly a revelation for me today, and I have decided to stop thinking this way and start forcing myself to see me as a happy me. Time to stop the sad train and get on board with a better frame of mind. My head knows I don’t have to let current circumstances dictate my mood or feelings for my day, but it’s really easy to let that happen in your heart isn’t it? I’ve fought depression off and on again for a lot of this year, and it has definitely colored my self perception.

The picture I decided to use is from that very happy trip earlier this summer we made to Paris. I thoroughly enjoyed our time there and want to go back quite often. Hence the quote, er, definition of saudade. Very often when I have traveled over my lifetime, the places I visit capture my heart….apparently forever! I promised you guys some pictures and stories of that trip too that I’ve never been able to put together. I truly feel like we left there too soon. :) I’ve even had trouble going back and looking at all of our pictures. However, I have managed to get through 2 days worth of them (around 1500 pictures!) in the last few days, so maybe…..maybe…..I can get back to sharing. No large promises or dictating deadlines to myself though. That doesn’t seem to be working for my post writing. :D

I’ve already thanked The Mess for this in my comment and share on her post, but I would like to say it again here as well. Thank you Miss Mess for making me think today. I don’t want to live my life thinking I’m suppose to be a sad woman any longer. We are made for so much more than that!

Until next time, Angela

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Putting Heart to Pen