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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Funny!

30 Jan

Funniest thing I have read in a while! Enjoy…

 
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You Just Can’t Get Good Help These Days….

14 Dec

I needed some help…..

 cute animals - Acting Like Animals: Accursed Inseam!
WHY. WON’T. YOU. JUST. FREAKING. SEW. CORRECTLY. Ugh, this is such an excruciating process! Why did I volunteer to do this? I love my human, but I’m willing to bet it wouldn’t be such an awful task to sew together this bedtime onesie if his waist wasn’t as round as a blasted blimp!

see more Daily Squee

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Fun Fact Friday 12/9/2011 Star Wars Edition

09 Dec

It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.” It’s been an interesting life in a few places. Check this out:

Darth Vader claims land plot in Ukraine -IEV (Reuters) – Welcoming the local authorities’ move to the dark side, Darth Vader has asked for a land plot in the Ukrainian Black Sea port of Odessa to park his space ship. An Odessite dressed as the Star Wars villain visited the mayor’s office to claim a free land plot. His visit followed a decision by city authorities to grant attractive land plots along the sea coast to a group of people for free, prompting public concerns about corruption, according to local media. The mayor’s office has since said the move was a mistake but has not yet canceled it, according to local news website Dumskaya.net.

“I am Darth Vader, the right hand of Emperor Palpatine,” the man introduced himself to amused policemen, as seen in a video posted on YouTube and accompanied by the Imperial March music. “…Knowing that many (local legislature) deputies and the mayor have switched to the dark side… I have come for a land plot… for my space cruiser.” Officials accepted the man’s application after he showed his passport and removed the black helmet equipped with a voice-distorting device.

“The application has been registered and will be considered,” a spokeswoman for the mayor’s office told Reuters. “We are not on the dark side, we are light-side people,” she added.  Reporting by Olzhas Auyezov; Additional reporting by Pavel Polityuk, editing by Paul Casciato

Fact Finders

The name of the Wikkipedia site for Star Wars: Wookieepedia. It is written in English, not Wookie. :)

Lucas got the idea for Chewbacca one morning in the early ’70s while watching his wife, Marcia, drive off in her car. She had their Alaskan malamute, Indiana, (the name sake for Indiana Jones) with her. Lucas liked the way the large shaggy dog looked in the passenger seat so he decided to create a character in the film that was a cross between Indiana, a bear, and a monkey.

Lucas intended that C-3PO and R2-D2 be a space-age Laurel and Hardy team. I think he succeeded with that one.

The voice of Yoda was done by the same actor that does the voice for Miss Piggy.

Anthony Daniel is the only actor to appear in all 6 Star Wars Films. Who did he play?

Quotables

“Do or do not….there is no try.” Yoda

Hans Solo – “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her.”

C-3PO – “That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault.”

“I didn’t want to go (to the audition) because (my agent) said it’s the part of a robot, so I said you’re mad! I don’t play robots!”~ Anthony Daniels

“Aaaaaaargh!” – Chewbacca

Funnies

To keep from being disturbed while shooting Return of the Jedi, Lucas pretended he was making a horror movie called Blue Harvest, and even made caps and shirts for the crew to wear during filming.

Due to the limited budget the American cast members and crew (including George Lucas) all decided to fly coach class to England, rather than first class. When Carrie Fisher’s mother Debbie Reynolds heard about this she called George Lucas, complaining about how insulting it was for her daughter to be flying coach. Carrie Fisher was in the room with George Lucas when he took the call, and after a few minutes asked if she could talk to her mother. When George Lucas handed her the phone she simply said, “Mother, I want to fly coach, will you fuck off?!” and hung up. [IMDB]

According to Mark Hamill, studios executives were unhappy that Chewbacca has no clothes and attempted to have the costume redesigned with shorts.

One of the asteroids in the movie was a shoe, another was a potato. The rumor is that Lucas asked for the asteroid scene to be redone so many times that someone got annoyed and threw in their shoe. The potato was just a potato.

Mr. Potato Head, aka Darth Tater, was born on Potatooine. His parents discovered his force sensibility when he let his toys float in the air.

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Fun Fact Friday 12/2/2011

02 Dec

It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”

Seen from Outer Space - COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — The sprawling pile of hundreds of thousands of tires isn’t easy to spot from the ground, sitting in a rural South Carolina clearing accessible by only a circuitous dirt path that winds through thick patches of trees. No one knows how all those tires got there, or when.

But, Calhoun County Council Chairman David Summers says of this giant rubber menace, “You can see it from space.” Well, we aren’t talking about the Great Wall of China folks. We are talking about 250,000 tires on 50 acres. (Photo credit: AP Photo/Rainier Ehrhardt)

Authorities have charged one person in connection with the mess of tires, which covers more than 50 acres on satellite images. Tire dumping has historically been a problem in Calhoun County and other rural areas, said Summers, who recalled another giant tire pile in the 1990s that would dwarf the current monstrosity. “This tire pile here is a baby compared to what that one was,” said Summers, who previously worked for a company that ended up shredding those used tires. South Carolina retailers charge motorists $2 for every new tire they buy, which helps pay for the cleanup and recycling of old tires. But Summers said many tires never make it to recycling plants, instead being discarded and growing into gargantuan piles.

Tricia Johnson, owner of Lee Tire Company, Inc., said a property owner whom she declined to name called her for help hauling off the material. So far, Johnson said between 10 and 15 tractor-trailer loads of tires have been shipped to her Florida facility. There, they will either have oil and steel extracted from them, or they will be shredded and made into tire-derived fuel, which Johnson said burns more cleanly than coal and is used by paper mills.

Johnson said she has waived her usual fee and is charging the property owner only for transportation costs. She hopes to have all 250,000 tires processed by early 2012. “He had good intentions,” Johnson said of the man who called and asked for her help. “He is trying to clean it up. He just got stuck. He tried all the resources to move the tires as quickly as he could.” Let’s burn rubber people!

Fact Finders

Another name for a Microsoft Windows tutorial is ‘Crash Course’.

A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.

The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.

Know why Thomas Edison might have wanted to invent the light bulb? He was known to be afraid of the dark.

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.

Quotables

In 3 words I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on. Robert Frost

To live a creative life we must first lose the fear of being wrong. Joseph Pearce

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t know it well enough. Albert Einstein

I hate it when I don’t forward a chain letter, and I die the next day. Unknown

The waves of the sea help me get back to me. Jill Davis

Humor

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Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

24 Nov

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He Says Spontaneous, I Say Recklessly Unplanned

19 Nov

Boyfriend says subdivision, I say neighborhood. Eldest grandaughter agrees with me, and tells him so if he forgets.

He says 5 minutes, I know it could be an hour. He really has no concept of time.

I ask a yes or no questions, to which he begins to not only write an essay to answer but he must also reword the question to the point I can’t recognize it. When he is done, I simply ask the yes or no question again. . . . until he finally answers yes or no.

He says he’s taking a shower, but I call it a sauna. The steam proceeds him as he is leaving the bathroom.

I like to fill up with gas when I have a little less than a quarter of a tank. He waits until his light comes on and still has to drive a little before he will fill up. True story.

He will not wear a shirt with patterned material, a few stripes is pretty much it. No plaids. No prints. I scare him with my clothes. I like color, and I like patterns, it can be multiple patterns at once.

He wins all the card games if he and I just play together. But when Daughter plays, she can kick his butt. Usually the heart of the cards is with him though, even with our Wizard of Oz Uno set, and that’s just not fair! That’s MY movie.

I concede all the electronic set up and repairs to him. He is good at it. I use to have to be the tech person, but now he can be. :)

I also use to be the giant bug killer, but when he is with me he takes care of all of that too. Again, I concede.

I say Facebook, he says FaceSpace and MyBook. He does have an account, but only signs in about 3 times a year, usually because I am making him answer something someone said.

I say he needs new glasses. He is currently wearing an aviator style from the 90′s. He needs new glasses. He says they are a good style that never goes out of date.

He also needs a new cell phone, but is reluctant to change. I can’t say much, ’cause mine is about 5 years old. BUT….mine will hold a charge all day, his only lasts about 8 minutes.

We have a lot of funny little differences, that sometime cause a little turbulance. But doesn’t that happen in all relationships? One of my girlfriends makes plans with me and says “…let’s do that next week.” Only problem is her next week and my next week are not the same. I can’t remember the exact difference, but now we schedule things by date, not “next week.” :)

The spontaneity reference in the title comes from one of Boyfriend’s questions to me early in our relationship. I’m kinda a hippie, or at least hippie-ish. He expected me to be the kind of person who made big decisions regularly just off the cuff. His question was, what was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done. After thinking for a few minutes, I answered asking him out for lunch. To which I also had to admit it had taken me several months to make the decision to work up to that. :) He took off for the Bahamas one time basically overnight. So he won the spontaneous contest.

Just a few thoughts that made me smile today. I’m sure you have a few of these too. I would love to hear what they are, so please leave me a comment and tell me all about it! Until next time, Angela

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Fun Fact Friday 11/18/2011

18 Nov
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”Karl Slover (L), Margaret Pellegrini (C) and Meinhardt Raabe (R)

 Picture Credit: Yahoo News

Another Munchkin leaves for Oz: ‘Wizard of Oz’ Munchkin Karl Slover dies at 93. The 4-foot-5 actor died of cardiopulmonary arrest Tuesday afternoon in a central Georgia hospital. According to friends, as recently as last weekend, Slover appeared at events in the suburban Chicago area.

Karl Slover, born Karl Kosiczky on September 21, 1918, was 21 years old when he auditioned for the “Wizard Of Oz” movie, and in the process met the other 123 little people with whom he worked through a grueling two month production schedule. “Standing four feet four inches tall, I was the smallest Munchkin,” recalls Karl. “I couldn’t even reach the doorknob.” He is best known for being the first trumpeter in the film but he also was one of the Munchkin soldiers, the only sleepy head boy in the nest of Munchkin eggs, and, one of the singers who led Dorothy down the yellow brick road. He had four parts total. After completing the “Wizard of Oz” he joined the “Original World Famous Singers Midget Show” and sang and danced across America. He also appeared in several movies. His advice to having a long life–”Just do the best you can. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy where you live. Most of all, remember what Judy Garland said in the movie, There’s no place like home.”
Source: IMDb Mini Biography By: John E. Blazier

Another great article about Mr. Slover can be found here at Yahoo News.

Fact Finders

It took less than 6 months to film the beloved 1939 movie version of ‘The Wizard of Oz’. Filming began on October 13, 1938. It ended on March 16, 1939.

Many of the Wicked Witch of the West’s scenes were either trimmed or deleted entirely, as Margaret Hamilton’s performance was thought too frightening for audiences.

During the haunted forest scene, several actors playing the Winged Monkeys were injured when the piano wires suspending them snapped, dropping them several feet to the floor of the sound stage.

The horse of a different color in Emerald City palace was colored with Jell-O crystals. The relevant scenes had to be shot quickly, before the horses used started to lick it off.

The Wizard of Oz ranked #1 on the American Film Institute’s list of the 10 greatest films in the genre “Fantasy” in June 2008.

A personal fact for me, this is my all time favorite film.

Quotables

Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Scarecrow: I haven’t got a brain… only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right.

Cowardly Lion: I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do!

Wizard of Oz: to the Tin Man: A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

A Humorous Note to end with:

Judy Garland won a pint-sized Oscar Juvenile Award at the 1939′s Academy Awards.  She referred to it as the Munchkin Award.

 
 

Fun Fact Friday 11/11/11 Binary Edition

11 Nov

It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.” Today is last binary day we will have until 1/1/2100. So let’s celebrate the wonderful world of binary numbers and history while we’re still here! We will also be investigating the number 11. :)

The answer is: there is no 4 in binary.

Binary Dates and Facts in the News:

The Great Blue Norther of 11/11/11 (November 11th 1911) was the biggest cold snap in U.S. history. Many cities broke record highs early that afternoon. By nightfall, cities were dealing with single-digit temperatures on the Fahrenheit scale. This is the only day in many midwest cities’ weather bureau jurisdictions where the record highs and lows were broken for the same day. An example: The temperature in Oklahoma City stood at 83 °F in the afternoon, until a cold front arrived, dropping the mercury to 17 °F in before midnight.

Other events of 11/11/1911 -

  • Kaiser Wilhelm II rebuked the Crown Prince for openly siding with the opposition to Germany’s policy on Morocco, and sent the Prince to Danzig.
  • The German battleship SMS Kaiserin was launched at Kiel.
  • A tornado struck Janesville, Wisconsin, killing 20 residents
  • The French film Zigomar premiered in Japan, and became an unexpected hit, particularly among kids who had never seen violence portrayed on stage. When Japanese producers began making their own Zigomar action thrillers, “scores of juvenile offenders were produced”, and Japan’s Home Ministry responded with strict censorship.


10/10/1911
– The Wuchang Uprising starts the Xinhai Revolution that leads to the founding of the Republic of China.

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918 (11/11/1918), an armistice was signed that ended World War I The anniversary of this day is still celebrated as Veterans Day in the United States. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world.

The Apollo 11 mission was the first manned mission to land on the Moon.

Sun spots are dark spots on the surface of the sun. Sunspot activity increases and decreases on an 11-year cycle. The next sunspot cycle is expected to occur by late 2011 reaching it’s peak in activity in 2012. Sunspots have intense magnetic fields which are associated with magnetic storms on earth. Radio reception on earth is also affected by the sun spot cycle. The Sun’s magnetic poles will remain as they are now, with the north magnetic pole pointing through the Sun’s southern hemisphere, until the year 2012 when they will reverse again. This transition happens at the peak of every 11-year sunspot cycle — like clockwork.

The millennium’s last total solar eclipse occurred on August 11, 1999. It was the most-viewed total solar eclipse in human history. The track of this eclipse began in the Atlantic a few hundred miles east of Boston, MA, swept northeast across the ocean reaching totality in Cornell England at11:11 a.m. It swept across Europe to the Black Sea, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and India, ending in the Bay of Bengal.

On August 18, 1999 (one week after the total solar eclipse), a poweful and rare configuration known to astrologers as a “Grand Cross” is formed in the heavens. A Grand Cross alignment occurs when four planets, or sets of planets, line up opposite one other in fixed signs of the Zodiac (Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio) forming a cross, with Earth at the intersecting point. Many believe that this event was references in the Biblical Book of Revelation as the Four Beasts of the Apocalypse. There was a weaker version of this configuration on January 11, 1910.

Binary Quotes

Unity can only be manifested by the Binary. Unity itself and the idea of Unity are already two. Buddha

I see the player piano as the grandfather of the computer, the ancestor of the entire nightmare we live in, the birth of the binary world where there is no option other than yes or no and where there is no refuge. William Gaddis

“I’ll miss 10:10 on 10-10-10 but I’m sure it will be amazing for people sitting by the clock watching it all happen.” –Blogger Kelly Oxford

Uncle Owen: “What I really need is a droid who understands the binary language of moisture vaporators.”
C-3PO: “Vaporators? Sir, my first job was programing binary load lifters very similar to your vaporators in most respects.”
(from Star Wars: Episode 4 – A New Hope)

Think About It

Some definitions of the number 11:

1. 11 as a number stands for revelation.

2. 10 being the number of ordinal perfection, 11 is perfect organization plus one, or one extra. One more than required, an extra measure, something more than only what is required.

3. 11 brings the gift of spiritual inheritance, is gifted as the “Light-Bearer”. Strengthened by the love of peace, gentleness, sensitivity and insight. Greatest facility is the awareness of Universal relationship, 11 represents The PeaceMaker

4. The binary number 11 is 3 in decimal.

5. To represent 11 in binary it is 1011.

Humor

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t. (10 in binary is 2 in decimal.)

I tend to think of myself as “binary-curious”.
Binary clock

This just goes to prove that mathematicians shouldn’t make jokes, as I was telling Pythagoras only yesterday.

 

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Fun Fact Friday 11/4/2011

04 Nov

It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.” Also a quick reminder to go to Wednesday’s post to enter our current giveaway, one easy entry per person. :)

Image From Nasa/Reuters

Strange News:  Yahoo News – Planet Like ‘Star Wars’ Tatooine Discovered Orbiting 2 Suns:  When Tatooine was depicted on film in the Star Wars films, many scientists doubted that such planets could really exist. Now there’s proof.

“It’s possible that there’s a real Tatooine out there,” said John Knoll, visual effects supervisor at the special-effects firm Industrial Light and Magic, which was behind the “Star Wars” films. “Kepler 16b is unambiguous and dramatic proof that planets really do form around binaries.” The new discovery is expanding the bounds of what scientists, as well as filmakers, can conceive, he said. “Again and again we see that the science is stranger and cooler than fiction,” Knoll said during a NASA press conference. “The very existence of these discoveries gives us cause to dream bigger, to question our assumptions.”

The planet, dubbed Kepler-16(AB)-b, passes in front of both stars in view of the satellite, regularly dimming their light. Each star also eclipses its companion as they orbit each other. Altogether, these motions allow scientists to precisely calculate the masses, radii and trajectories of all three bodies. Worlds that orbit around two stars, known as circumbinary planets, had been hinted at before. Stars in pairs both orbit around a point in space called barycenter, and researchers at times saw these orbits were slightly off, suggesting the presence of a planet tugging at both stars. However, Kepler-16(AB)-b is the first planet that scientists have detected directly passing in front of, or transiting, its stars, temporarily dimming their light.

Since the movements of this world and its two stars are all virtually confined to the same plane, the researchers suggest they all formed from the same disk of dust and gas. Planets that were captured from other star systems might be expected to orbit at a range of angles. “Now that we know how to detect circumbinary planets, I think we are going to find a lot more rapidly,” Doyle told SPACE.com. The scientists detailed their findings in the Sept. 16 issue of the journal Science.

Image from the Huffington Post

LONDON (Reuters) – Gary the Kit Katfish Goes On a Diet: An exotic Asian fish fed exclusively on Kit Kat chocolate wafers his entire life has been put on a fruit-based diet by his new owners at London’s Sea Life Aquarium. “Gary” the giant gourami, a species of freshwater fish native to parts of South East Asia where it is farmed for food, is 40 cm long (16 inches) and tips the scales at 4 kg (9 lb). The fish’s refusal to eat mystified staff at the aquarium until they discovered that its previous owners fed it entirely on Kit Kats, the chocolate confection made by Swiss-based global food company Nestle.

“I have never heard of a fish being fed chocolate, let alone being brought up entirely on the stuff,” Rebecca Carter, Gary’s handler said in a statement on Sea Life’s website. “Gouramis usually eat a diet of fruit but Gary doesn’t appear to have suffered any ill effects from his chocolate addiction. However, we would not recommend feeding fish confectionery of any kind!” Aquarists had to stuff crumbled Kit Kat pieces into grapes and pieces of banana to wean the fish off chocolate and onto a more conventional diet.

Gary is just one of a number of fish that have been taken in by the aquarium after their owners were no longer able to care for them. Staff have even been dubbed one display the “tankbusters,” as it houses several fish that grew too large for their owners. “Many people don’t do the right research when they buy fish and end up unable to care for them,” said Carter. “Catfish are a good example and we have a number here that outgrew their homes. We’d urge people to think before they buy. We’re delighted we could find a home for Gary but the fact is we simply do not have the space to accommodate the vast number of re-homing requests we receive.”

It’s probably a good thing Gary was not relocated here. In the south, most fish that size end up as dinner, not as pets.

Fact Finders, Fishie Facts -

There are over 25,000 identified species of fish on the earth.

It is estimated that there may still be over 15,000 fish species that have not yet been identified.

There are more species of fish than all the species of amphibians, reptiles, birds and mammals combined.

40% of all fish species inhabit fresh water, yet less than .01% of the earth’s water is fresh water.

The spotted climbing perch is able to absorb oxygen from the air and will crawl overland using its strong pectoral fins.

Some fish like sharks don’t posses an air bladder to help keep them afloat and must either swim continually or rest on the bottom.

Quotables:

Space is the breath of art. Frank Lloyd Wright

For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions. Lao Tzu

One of my all time favorite quotes: That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind. Neil A. Armstrong, Commander Apollo 11, as he stepped off the LM ‘Eagle’ and onto the Moon in the Sea of Tranquility, 20 July 1969

It is good to renew one’s wonder….. Space travel has again made children of us all.  Ray Bradbury

To set foot on the soil of the asteroids, to lift by hand a rock from the Moon, to observe Mars from a distance of several tens of kilometers, to land on its satellite or even on its surface, what can be more fantastic? From the moment of using rocket devices a new great era will begin in astronomy: the epoch of the more intensive study of the firmament. – Konstantin E. Tsiolkovsky, Father of Russian Astronautics, 1896

Think About It…

Did you know that if you put Saturn in water it would float?

How fast were you going? We are moving through space at the rate of 530km a second….zoom zoom zoom.

If you weigh 100 lbs, your weight on the Sun would be 2707 lbs. (multiply your actual weight by 27). I may use the sun as my next weight gain excuse.

Did you know that moons are also called satellites?

The Sun rotates every 25-36 earth days.

Humor:

What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse ? The Codfather

What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?…A croaking device

What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!

What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!

Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won’t make him truthful.

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Acknowledgements: http://news.yahoo.com http://www.spa more...
 
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I Want to Know You More….& a Giveaway!

02 Nov

Edit! 11/10/11 Hot news! We have a winner in my coupon giveaway, it is Sasha W! So check your email and get back to me pronto! If I haven’t heard from her in 72 hours, I will choose a new winner. Thanks!

Time for us to play a game! I got a fun little email last week that I wanted to kinda share here. I would love it if you would jump in and respond. If you do, you’ll also have a chance to win a prize. :) I am sharing my answers to 4 statements below, please share yours in the comments. It’s just a fun and quick way to get to know each other a little better. And there will be a winner which I will choose from the comments left next Wednesday with www. random.org, one comment per person only. The prize? Almost $90 in coupons that Boyfriend and Granddaughter cut out from the Sunday papers. So, get on your mark…..ready…….set….four!

1. Four states I’ve been to: Colorado, New Mexico, Michigan, North Carolina

2. Four smells I love: gardenia, lily of the valley, vanilla, coffee

3. Four people I hope will respond: Annie, Helen, Marisa and YOU! (You don’t have to answer this one :) )

4. Four TV shows I Love to watch: NCIS, Big Bang Theory, Two Broke Girls, Mike & Molly

Now, your turn! Copy and paste the 4 questions in a comment box, delete my answers and type in your answers. Now come on, you know you wanna play . . . it’s only four questions. :)  I’m looking forward to what you share, and for having lots of folks to choose from to win the coupons. Thanks for playing! Angela

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