memories « Accidentally Angela

RSS

Archive for the ‘memories’ Category

1-11-11

11 Jan

Today is 1/11/11. The eleventh day of this year 2011. The date also holds the honor of being one of just 12 binary (composed of only 1′s or 0′s) dates in 2011, one of the few years capable of producing such dates. It would seem to be a mystical date to some, for me it is an interesting date but not necessarily mystical. However it is interesting to me for a personal reason. That is because I date Binary Man.

I sweetly named Boyfriend Binary Man early on in our relationship. Why would I do that you ask? Because he can read binary of course. Yes, the 10101111000110011110101111000011111000 stuff. He can read it. It serves him on his job to be able to do this, and I think it’s a cute fact about him. So this is a date he should understand. Unfortunately due to lots of snowy weather we didn’t get to spend it together. But we will see each other later this week. Yessireebob! You can bet on that.

Another binary date for this year is 11/11/11. Really some people do put stock in these kinds of dates having mystical traits or as being lucky or good for karma. Me, I like Friday the 13th’s. They always seem to work out to be great days for me. I also seem to have a lot of things happen on dates in November, and have several friends with birthdays that month. 11/6 of many years has been a very bad day for me historically in my life, by no common circumstance, just strange coincidence. What about you? What dates seem strange in your own historical past? Any reliably good dates? Any strangely bad ones like mine? Curiouser and curiouser I seem to be, odd and strange facts can be fascinating. Please share any good ones with me. I can’t wait to hear.

So, back to Binary Man. My big sweet boyfriend with the mind for numbers. Me, I do alright but I certainly DON’T read binary. As I said it helps him with his job sometimes, at least he isn’t a fashion designer. I don’t think he would get much use of his unique talent then. Love you honey!

So, short and sweet tonight, dear ones! Hope you are having a peaceful week! Me, I will be counting my 1′s and 0′s until I see Boyfriend. I count those to fall asleep now, they don’t make as much noise as sheep. G’nite! Angela

No Comments

Posted in humor, memories

My Thanksgiving….

25 Nov

This is a pictorial review of my Thanksgiving, beginning with the Turkey I roasted myself! This is the first Thanksgiving in a few years that my family and I have been able to be together, and I am very excited! I knew I was happy about it, but didn’t realize until today how excited I was!!!!! Yay! For those of you that may not know, I AM NOT a cook. So, with that statement hopefully you can understand my bird excitement! It was really easy to do too. I defrosted it in the fridge since Monday, and then took it out this morning and took out the giblets (yes, I did remember that ) and stuck him in a 350 degree oven for about 4 hours. I started checking him at 3 hours, but it took a full 4 for him to look like this. I started out with him in this little disposable roasting pan, and stuffed an onion inside for flavor and rubbed a little butter and salt on the outside. Then I covered the pan with tinfoil for the first 3 hours and took the foil off for the last hour. I hope it tastes as good as it looks! We will find out at 4 PM.

I also watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, for the maybe 44th time in my life. Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without me watching that parade! Here are a few of my favorites for you to enjoy too….

First, my favorite of favorites!

Second, their turkey. I think mine is better Alton Brown from Food Network was the pilgrim on top….

Third, another favorite, Kermie!

Next, Hello Kitty! Another big fav in my house.

The last few are:

Yep, Horton hears a Who with his little Who clover, the Pillsbury Dough Boy and The Smurfs.

Santa of course ended the parade, but sadly I wasn’t able to take a pic of him in time. But I’m sure he’ll show up again, probably about December 25th.

The last picture I have to share is of the pecan pie Daughter number one made for us. I can’t wait to take a bite…yum! She’s an old pro at them, she has made 3 or 4 now….I’m so excited! My Daddy is coming too….we are going to have a wonderful meal!

So, as I depart to put the finishing touches on this fabulous family gathering, I will share with you one of my favorite ditties:

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump, may your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your THANKSGIVING dinner stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Let me know how much you are enjoying your day as well! Angela

No Comments

Posted in Family, memories

Pieces

22 Nov

Pieces
Living breathing
Yearning aching
Moving wanting
Searching waiting
Wondering knowing
Learning lying

Hating dying
Waiting trying
Watching listening
Crying whispering
Drawing pulling
Pushing giving

Earning paying
Needing spending
Suffering emptying
Lurching propelling
Going staying
Molding forming

Washing pouring
Consuming burning
Walking crawling
Running flying
Coming leaving
Helping taking

Suffering hearing
Reasoning whining
Starting finishing
Choosing trying
Losing taking
Going making

Holding yielding
Trembling shaking
Imploding exploding
Confusing distracting
Labeling reacting
Seeing leaving

Firing polishing
Knowing glowing
Sanding smoothing
Washing clothing
Sawing screaming
Maturing growing

Opening closing
Starting stopping
Sowing reaping
Birthing dying
Beginning ending
Finishing completing

I have been known to occasionally write poetry, off and on since 9th grade English class. Very often it comes out when I am going through a difficult time. This poem was written during one of those times. A friend of mine calls it a word string. At the time I just felt like I had so much STUFF built up inside me that if I didn’t find a way to let some of it out I was mentally going to explode. As you can tell I had a lot of questions rolling around inside of me. So this is what came out. No explosion. Everyone was safe again .

Have you released built up emotions in a similar way? How do you deal with your overwhelming emotions? Let me know what you think of my expression, and tell me about yours…..thanks. Have a great week! Angela

No Comments

Posted in memories, poetry, Ponderings

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

12 Nov

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day. I always remember Memorial Day, but somehow forget Veteran’s Day. My Grandfather served in World War 1. One of his battles was in the Black Forest in Germany. He loved to tell us stories about some of the places he traveled, but would never talk about anything that happened during the war to me. I know he was in Germany and Italy, probably France too but I don’t remember specifically. I loved my Grandpa. He passed away when I was 12. I have a tiny little picture of him in his Army uniform somewhere. Sorry I can’t share it now, I will be glad to when I find it. My dad also served in the Air Force, but not during any wars. Thanks for protecting us, both of you. That’s kinda what dad’s are suppose to do, and you both did it well. I’m proud of you both and love you lots! John Wayne said: “Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.” I’m sure every veteran we have ever had hopes this too, that wars would not be the means we had to use in this world, but I’m thankful for those brave enough to put themselves in harms way to protect us and our freedom. I’m not an advocate of war, and I hate some of the things that come from it, but I will never forget the sacrifices that my Grandpa suffered to protect us with his service. There are many service men and women who are sacrificing for us still today. When you see them, thank them for their service. The least they deserve is our thanks.

Today is Friday. It is a strange and wonderful month for me, all at the same time. The month of Thanksgiving with all the food and trimmings a small army could eat! We’ll be celebrating at my house this year because Daughter Number 2 will be recovering from surgery, and I get to have them home with me. I’m looking forward to it! Turkey with stuffing, dressing for my Daddy, twice baked potatoes for Daughter Number 1, other fixin’s to go with those and cheese cake by Daughter Number 2 for dessert. Yum!

Several other things have also happened during this month as well. This is the month of my marriage, and the month of the beginning of my separation. It seemed so strange that first year to have separated from my husband the same month we had promised forever to each other. The first year was horrible, somehow I got through it and got to the new year and new spring and summer. Now we are a few years past it all and I”m glad things have turned out the way they have, really very grateful. I enjoy my life now and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am also glad my marriage produced my wonderful children and grandchildren, can’t imagine life without any of them! Speaking of children, that brings us to….

Ole! Happy Birthday Daughter...

Tomorrow. It is my baby’s birthday. My BABY is gonna be 25! Just doesn’t seem possible for her to be that old, then again my oldest child is my son and he is 30. Time flies people! Time flies and things change, and you really have to learn to enjoy where you’re at and drink in every moment you can. So tomorrow we will celebrate my daughter’s birth, going out to dinner and see if we can get someone to sing Happy Birthday to her like last year. That’s what the pic is from, the Mexican restaurant we took her and the family to. She declared it lots of fun even with the hat on . Good sport she was! We’ll have cake and presents, and maybe even watch a movie after if she wants to. It is also the month of several of my friends birthdays so it is a month of celebration. Happy Birthday to all and to all a good night! Ole!

Do you have any thing to celebrate other than Thanksgiving this month? I think I have at least one reader who is one of the friends with a birthday this month, right? Hope you have a happy everything everyone! Angela

No Comments

Posted in Family, Friendship, memories

My Friend Kathy

30 Oct

My Friend Kathy

Friendships are wonderful things. They bring us moments of great joy, incredible fun, lots of love and laughter. Friends bring color to our lives. Without them our lives would not be as bright and shiny. All the greeting card sentiments that say things like, “Friends are the flowers of our lives,” about the hugs and kisses, knowing each other so well, even where the bodies are buried.

Hope you all have friends like these. I know I am blessed because I do.

And I love meeting new people. You never know when you are meeting your next best friend. But then again you never know when you are meeting your worst frenemy either .

Good friends are great. Old friends are wonderful. They know your history, and love you anyway. They share common challenges and triumphs. Ups and downs and ins and outs. You go through a lot together when you have been friends for a while. This post is about one of my oldest and dearest friends, whom I lost last year.

We had known each other for 20 years. 2 decades of STUFF! Knew lots of things about each other, some we liked and some we just put up with, because we loved each other.

I didn’t realize how often we talked until she was gone. We didn’t start out talking every day. But over the last few years we had the habit of calling each other every day. Whether it was checking in or catching up, just seeing what the other one was doing or if she was ok, we touched base a lot.

Her name was Kathy. She was only 53 when she passed away, and it was a shock to everyone. I remember when my friend Tina called to tell me Kathy had died. And I started yelling at her. “No she’s not dead! She couldn’t be! I just talked to her last night. She’s sick. She has the flu. She’s going to see the doctor Monday!” I’m yelling at Tina, and she was on the other end sobbing. I felt like a big hole had just opened up under my feet and I was going to fall in. It was Saturday. I wasn’t even dressed to go out yet.

So I threw on my clothes, had to break the news to my family, and check on Kathy and her family. Everybody felt guilty about her dying. Why hadn’t we made her go to the doctor sooner? Why hadn’t we been able to tell how sick she was? Her daughter-in-law was heartbroken and very upset that morning, blaming herself immediately for not knowing. How could she not have known how sick Kathy was, she asked me when I got there. Kathy had downplayed it to her, to all of us. She was fine. She would go to the doctor on Monday. Did I say she was 53? Only 53.

Kathy was a very passionate person. She loved her family. She loved her friends. She loved her church. She was also very strong minded, and had a definite set of rules she wanted everybody to live by. But she loved you even though you couldn’t live by her rules. She never stopped loving you.

Kathy In Pink

She and I had fights quite regularly. Over her health issues, our money problems, job issues, friend issues, ex-husband issues. But we were friends, maybe more like sisters or likes sisters are supposed to be. We fought and we loved. Made up when we needed to, laughed about it when it wasn’t that big a deal. We learned to trust each other. We learn to live together even though we lived apart.

I didn’t realize how often I called her until the week after she died. I sent her 2 e-mails, 5 text messages, and called her 7 times. Each time not remembering until after the fact that she couldn’t answer my e-mail, read my text, or get my voice mail anymore. That was when I realized how often we talked and how often I stayed in touch with her. We’d go to Cherokee together. We looked at Christmas lights together,went to the movies, had dinner. Worried about our kids together. Then our grandkids. Shared frustrations and hopes and happiness and fears. Sometimes all in the same conversation.

Gosh she was fiesty. Sometimes I couldn’t take her being so upset about certain issues. And she would get frustrated about me talking down to her. I didn’t realize I was. She was a fun person. She knew how to have a good time, and laugh and enjoy herself and a good joke or funny story. Planned some great trips. My favorite was a trip she and I took to Charleston one year. We both loved the beach. There was a womens conference we went to. Afterwards we spent the last day at the beach acting like kids again.

She was such a big part of my life and I don’t think she understood it. She felt very threatened by a new relationship that had started for me and it took us a few weeks for she and I to figure it out. I didn’t understand her fears at first. But one night after a heated debate we were able to work it all out and she had realized her fears so far were unjustified. And we did our regular scheduled thing of taking a friend out to dinner and a movie just a couple days later. She told me she was sorry for being insecure about my boyfriend and I told her I was sorry for talking down to her. I hadn’t meant to.

The next week I got the flu. Got over that. The following week I went on vacation. So she and I were talking on the phone but did not getting to see each other during this time. When I got back from vacation, we were suppose to go to dinner. Kathy got sick, and we postponed going out to the week after. Unfortunately there wasn’t a week after for Kathy. She died that weekend. Now I miss my friend.

I am sure her children miss their mother and other friends miss her as well. I have other wonderful friends,and they try to help me deal with my grief too. I’m sure the anniversary of her death is what is bringing it so close to home again.

So I miss you Kathy.
And I am sure I will always love you.
You make sure God has heaven straight.
I am going to join you one day.
I am mostly glad you are having a good time.
I am happy for you, sad for me. Sad for us.
I just miss you. I just miss you still.

Did I mention she had a thing for Peanuts? Charles Schulz’s Peanuts. She had a few little collectibles and so did I. She always tried to steal mine. Kathy, I am going to make you jealous now because Boyfriend bought me a book. “Peanuts Holidays Through The Year: Five Classic Stories.” All mine. Not yours. That’s ok. If you wanna, we can have a fight over it later.

I love you girl. Always will. Period.

Me and Kathy

No Comments

Posted in gratitude, memories, Ponderings

Getting My Crafty Back

25 Oct

Log Cabin Block

I have decided it is time to overcome my apparent new fear of sewing. I tried to start my own alterations business a couple of years ago, and realized pretty soon into it that the stress was making it impossible for me to sew. Now, understand here, I am no newbie to sewing. I have been machine sewing for 30 years. I was a hand sewer as a child for about 10 years. I made Barbie doll clothes and sold them for $1.00 each and a SASE, which is a self addressed stamped envelope, thank you. That was from about 8-13 I think. Then I started sewing dolls and animals at about 11 or 12. I kept some, and sold a couple and gave a few away. No big bucks here, but I knew how to sew and enjoyed making things. I grew up and continued my sewing career, making clothes for my children and myself as well as regularly making gifts for family and friends at Christmas or birthdays too.

More blocks for sampler quilt

Fast forward to the last few of years where any kind of sewing beyond replacing buttons would practically give me a panic attack! I missed the feeling of accomplishment that I would get with a finished project, feeling good about my ability to create. I seriously wanted to get my crafty back! So, after several conversations with family and friends and Boyfriend, I decided to take a sewing class. A sampler quilting class to be exact. Here are a couple of photos of completed blocks…log cabin, nine patch and rail fence are the 3 blocks shown. I will have 9 different blocks done for this sampler when the class is finished. I will share more pictures as I complete the new blocks. The only thing is it’s still kinda scary to me to be sewing again. I feel more like it’s an “Angela get your crafty back” recovery class instead of a quilting class. I dunno. Maybe it can be both.

I am still not sure what caused my problems. Have you ever had ‘sewing block’ or ‘writer’s block’ yourself? How did you overcome it? I would love to hear your stories too, leave a comment and tell me all about it! I know when I went through my divorce it definitely made me feel insecure in lots of ways, so that may have been part of my problem. I’m not sure. But even though I’m still feeling nervous about this some of the time I am really sure I enjoy sewing again, and hope to continue past this project. Again, let me know how you deal with your insecurities too. I would love to chew the fat with you about it! Thanks! See you soon, Angela

No Comments

Posted in memories, overcoming, sewing

If I Only Had a Brain…..

02 Sep

If I only had a brain.....

The Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz is one of my hero’s. Actually I truly love all the characters from the movies and the books. During my life I have often identified with the each one of the characters. Currently, it’s Tin Man I understand the most.

I and all the people around me are currently dealing with my problem: I have menopause brain. Now, you would think that means that I still have a functioning cerebral cortex, but….you would be WRONG! I too sadly sing the song of the Tin Man, “If I only had a brain…” Why you ask? Well, let me answer that query for you….

Long long ago in a place far far away Little Miss Angela had to have a hysterectomy, at 25 no less! No gory details, but suffice it to say some of the parts had to go, a couple of small parts stayed. So I didn’t immediately begin ‘pausing’, but the surgeon told me I would experience it a little early probably. Not sure what early means, but now I find myself in the throws of the blasted thing at 48. Joy unspeakable, just ask my family and friends .

I’ve spent all these years praying for a ‘mini’ pause, nothing too dramatic. I have found if I drink soy milk every day I don’t have the wonderful hot flashes. Mine did not cause me to sweat. I felt like the upper third of my body had been plunged into an oven and Iwas slowly being broiled to death. I understand all the comedic scenes in movies and TV where the menopausal woman is running screaming through the house, yard, mall, whatever, yanking off all her clothes. You just can’t take the heat. So thank God for soy milk. I do quite regularly. But, what was I writing about, oh yeah. This post was about a brain…

I have been researching this menopause thing. Come to find out one of the symptoms of menopause is problems with memory. Problems with memory. No one has ever mentioned that to me. At least I don’t think they have. Now, thanks to my Dad I have a family trait already of being slightly forgetful (my daughter is guffawing at the slightly I’m sure). If I don’t put things back in their designated spots, I won’t remember leaving them in the other odd spots we find them in. Thus ensues a search that can last for days. Really. Sometimes weeks. Then there are all the faces I remember collectively in said brain. Faces of schoolmates, old work companions, teachers, former bosses, family that live very far away, current customers of mine that work in the vicinity of my office. Faces, but no names. None. I will know that I know you, and try to stumble around to remember your name, but everyone usually figures out that I can’t recall it, and they obligingly offer up their own name for me and whomever I am trying to introduce them to. So, seems like I already have enough memory issues, right? Well, let’s just see about that. Let me explain my life with the current additional memory issues.

with creme and sugar, perfection!

I love coffee. I have discovered that it is one of the great loves of my life. Boyfriend has acknowledge and accepted this fact (at least I think he has). I have been making coffee since I was 15 or 16. As I stated earlier I am now 48, so that’s a long time. How hard is it really? Wee-ee-eel…..let me tell you.

This morning I’m at work and decide it’s time to have a good hot cuppa. Put filter in basket. Scoop out desired amount of coffee. Pour in sufficient amount of water for brewing. Turn on pot, walk away, wait. A few minutes later, we have coffee. I am sitting at my desk, really enjoying the wonderful aroma of fresh coffee wafting around me. What a pleasure it is to have coffee in my life. Sigh. Just another minute or two, and I will be imbibing on my cherished drink. Hold on there kiddies! Houston discovers a problem. What the frail? Urp. Ahhh. Oops. Where’s the pot? I neglected to place the coffee POT under the spigot for the coffee that was brewing. So, coffee slowly built up in the basket, with the filter and the GROUNDS, and then proceeded to pour out and all around the coffee maker, all over counters, down cabinets, into the floor…..need I go on? It took almost a full roll of paper towels to clean up my mess. Why would I not remember to put the POT on the coffee maker? One day I didn’t remember to turn it on, and I sat for quite a while waiting for coffee that was not gonna happen. Oh well. I finally figured that part out too. So, again, I sing the song of the Tin Man: “… if I only had a brain.”

Guess I will write out the instructions for making coffee on some sticky notes and put them on the pot….ummm….huh? what were we talking about? Lunch, oh yeah. That’s it. Lunch.

Ok, I will try to remember to show up more often and write posts too, k? I won’t forget. I promise.

1 Comment

Posted in humor, memories, menopause, Ponderings