Funniest thing I have read in a while! Enjoy…
Source: wins.failblog.org via Angela on Pinterest
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Funny!
30
Jan
He Says Spontaneous, I Say Recklessly Unplanned
19
Nov
Boyfriend says subdivision, I say neighborhood. Eldest grandaughter agrees with me, and tells him so if he forgets.
He says 5 minutes, I know it could be an hour. He really has no concept of time.
I ask a yes or no questions, to which he begins to not only write an essay to answer but he must also reword the question to the point I can’t recognize it. When he is done, I simply ask the yes or no question again. . . . until he finally answers yes or no.
He says he’s taking a shower, but I call it a sauna. The steam proceeds him as he is leaving the bathroom.
I like to fill up with gas when I have a little less than a quarter of a tank. He waits until his light comes on and still has to drive a little before he will fill up. True story.
He will not wear a shirt with patterned material, a few stripes is pretty much it. No plaids. No prints. I scare him with my clothes. I like color, and I like patterns, it can be multiple patterns at once.
He wins all the card games if he and I just play together. But when Daughter plays, she can kick his butt. Usually the heart of the cards is with him though, even with our Wizard of Oz Uno set, and that’s just not fair! That’s MY movie.
I concede all the electronic set up and repairs to him. He is good at it. I use to have to be the tech person, but now he can be. 
I also use to be the giant bug killer, but when he is with me he takes care of all of that too. Again, I concede.
I say Facebook, he says FaceSpace and MyBook. He does have an account, but only signs in about 3 times a year, usually because I am making him answer something someone said.
I say he needs new glasses. He is currently wearing an aviator style from the 90′s. He needs new glasses. He says they are a good style that never goes out of date.
He also needs a new cell phone, but is reluctant to change. I can’t say much, ’cause mine is about 5 years old. BUT….mine will hold a charge all day, his only lasts about 8 minutes.
We have a lot of funny little differences, that sometime cause a little turbulance. But doesn’t that happen in all relationships? One of my girlfriends makes plans with me and says “…let’s do that next week.” Only problem is her next week and my next week are not the same. I can’t remember the exact difference, but now we schedule things by date, not “next week.”
The spontaneity reference in the title comes from one of Boyfriend’s questions to me early in our relationship. I’m kinda a hippie, or at least hippie-ish. He expected me to be the kind of person who made big decisions regularly just off the cuff. His question was, what was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done. After thinking for a few minutes, I answered asking him out for lunch. To which I also had to admit it had taken me several months to make the decision to work up to that. He took off for the Bahamas one time basically overnight. So he won the spontaneous contest.
Just a few thoughts that made me smile today. I’m sure you have a few of these too. I would love to hear what they are, so please leave me a comment and tell me all about it! Until next time, Angela
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 11/11/11 Binary Edition
11
Nov
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.” Today is last binary day we will have until 1/1/2100. So let’s celebrate the wonderful world of binary numbers and history while we’re still here! We will also be investigating the number 11.
The answer is: there is no 4 in binary.
Binary Dates and Facts in the News:
The Great Blue Norther of 11/11/11 (November 11th 1911) was the biggest cold snap in U.S. history. Many cities broke record highs early that afternoon. By nightfall, cities were dealing with single-digit temperatures on the Fahrenheit scale. This is the only day in many midwest cities’ weather bureau jurisdictions where the record highs and lows were broken for the same day. An example: The temperature in Oklahoma City stood at 83 °F in the afternoon, until a cold front arrived, dropping the mercury to 17 °F in before midnight.
Other events of 11/11/1911 -
- Kaiser Wilhelm II rebuked the Crown Prince for openly siding with the opposition to Germany’s policy on Morocco, and sent the Prince to Danzig.
- The German battleship SMS Kaiserin was launched at Kiel.
- A tornado struck Janesville, Wisconsin, killing 20 residents
- The French film Zigomar premiered in Japan, and became an unexpected hit, particularly among kids who had never seen violence portrayed on stage. When Japanese producers began making their own Zigomar action thrillers, “scores of juvenile offenders were produced”, and Japan’s Home Ministry responded with strict censorship.
10/10/1911 – The Wuchang Uprising starts the Xinhai Revolution that leads to the founding of the Republic of China.
On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918 (11/11/1918), an armistice was signed that ended World War I The anniversary of this day is still celebrated as Veterans Day in the United States. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world.
The Apollo 11 mission was the first manned mission to land on the Moon.
Sun spots are dark spots on the surface of the sun. Sunspot activity increases and decreases on an 11-year cycle. The next sunspot cycle is expected to occur by late 2011 reaching it’s peak in activity in 2012. Sunspots have intense magnetic fields which are associated with magnetic storms on earth. Radio reception on earth is also affected by the sun spot cycle. The Sun’s magnetic poles will remain as they are now, with the north magnetic pole pointing through the Sun’s southern hemisphere, until the year 2012 when they will reverse again. This transition happens at the peak of every 11-year sunspot cycle — like clockwork.
The millennium’s last total solar eclipse occurred on August 11, 1999. It was the most-viewed total solar eclipse in human history. The track of this eclipse began in the Atlantic a few hundred miles east of Boston, MA, swept northeast across the ocean reaching totality in Cornell England at11:11 a.m. It swept across Europe to the Black Sea, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and India, ending in the Bay of Bengal.
On August 18, 1999 (one week after the total solar eclipse), a poweful and rare configuration known to astrologers as a “Grand Cross” is formed in the heavens. A Grand Cross alignment occurs when four planets, or sets of planets, line up opposite one other in fixed signs of the Zodiac (Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio) forming a cross, with Earth at the intersecting point. Many believe that this event was references in the Biblical Book of Revelation as the Four Beasts of the Apocalypse. There was a weaker version of this configuration on January 11, 1910.
Binary Quotes
Unity can only be manifested by the Binary. Unity itself and the idea of Unity are already two. Buddha
I see the player piano as the grandfather of the computer, the ancestor of the entire nightmare we live in, the birth of the binary world where there is no option other than yes or no and where there is no refuge. William Gaddis
“I’ll miss 10:10 on 10-10-10 but I’m sure it will be amazing for people sitting by the clock watching it all happen.” –Blogger Kelly Oxford
Uncle Owen: “What I really need is a droid who understands the binary language of moisture vaporators.”
C-3PO: “Vaporators? Sir, my first job was programing binary load lifters very similar to your vaporators in most respects.”
(from Star Wars: Episode 4 – A New Hope)
Think About It
Some definitions of the number 11:
1. 11 as a number stands for revelation.
2. 10 being the number of ordinal perfection, 11 is perfect organization plus one, or one extra. One more than required, an extra measure, something more than only what is required.
3. 11 brings the gift of spiritual inheritance, is gifted as the “Light-Bearer”. Strengthened by the love of peace, gentleness, sensitivity and insight. Greatest facility is the awareness of Universal relationship, 11 represents The PeaceMaker
4. The binary number 11 is 3 in decimal.
5. To represent 11 in binary it is 1011.
Humor
There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t. (10 in binary is 2 in decimal.)
I tend to think of myself as “binary-curious”.
This just goes to prove that mathematicians shouldn’t make jokes, as I was telling Pythagoras only yesterday.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 11/4/2011
04
Nov
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.” Also a quick reminder to go to Wednesday’s post to enter our current giveaway, one easy entry per person.
Image From Nasa/Reuters
Strange News: Yahoo News – Planet Like ‘Star Wars’ Tatooine Discovered Orbiting 2 Suns: When Tatooine was depicted on film in the Star Wars films, many scientists doubted that such planets could really exist. Now there’s proof.
“It’s possible that there’s a real Tatooine out there,” said John Knoll, visual effects supervisor at the special-effects firm Industrial Light and Magic, which was behind the “Star Wars” films. “Kepler 16b is unambiguous and dramatic proof that planets really do form around binaries.” The new discovery is expanding the bounds of what scientists, as well as filmakers, can conceive, he said. “Again and again we see that the science is stranger and cooler than fiction,” Knoll said during a NASA press conference. “The very existence of these discoveries gives us cause to dream bigger, to question our assumptions.”
The planet, dubbed Kepler-16(AB)-b, passes in front of both stars in view of the satellite, regularly dimming their light. Each star also eclipses its companion as they orbit each other. Altogether, these motions allow scientists to precisely calculate the masses, radii and trajectories of all three bodies. Worlds that orbit around two stars, known as circumbinary planets, had been hinted at before. Stars in pairs both orbit around a point in space called barycenter, and researchers at times saw these orbits were slightly off, suggesting the presence of a planet tugging at both stars. However, Kepler-16(AB)-b is the first planet that scientists have detected directly passing in front of, or transiting, its stars, temporarily dimming their light.
Since the movements of this world and its two stars are all virtually confined to the same plane, the researchers suggest they all formed from the same disk of dust and gas. Planets that were captured from other star systems might be expected to orbit at a range of angles. “Now that we know how to detect circumbinary planets, I think we are going to find a lot more rapidly,” Doyle told SPACE.com. The scientists detailed their findings in the Sept. 16 issue of the journal Science.
- Image from the Huffington Post
LONDON (Reuters) – Gary the Kit Katfish Goes On a Diet: An exotic Asian fish fed exclusively on Kit Kat chocolate wafers his entire life has been put on a fruit-based diet by his new owners at London’s Sea Life Aquarium. “Gary” the giant gourami, a species of freshwater fish native to parts of South East Asia where it is farmed for food, is 40 cm long (16 inches) and tips the scales at 4 kg (9 lb). The fish’s refusal to eat mystified staff at the aquarium until they discovered that its previous owners fed it entirely on Kit Kats, the chocolate confection made by Swiss-based global food company Nestle.
“I have never heard of a fish being fed chocolate, let alone being brought up entirely on the stuff,” Rebecca Carter, Gary’s handler said in a statement on Sea Life’s website. “Gouramis usually eat a diet of fruit but Gary doesn’t appear to have suffered any ill effects from his chocolate addiction. However, we would not recommend feeding fish confectionery of any kind!” Aquarists had to stuff crumbled Kit Kat pieces into grapes and pieces of banana to wean the fish off chocolate and onto a more conventional diet.
Gary is just one of a number of fish that have been taken in by the aquarium after their owners were no longer able to care for them. Staff have even been dubbed one display the “tankbusters,” as it houses several fish that grew too large for their owners. “Many people don’t do the right research when they buy fish and end up unable to care for them,” said Carter. “Catfish are a good example and we have a number here that outgrew their homes. We’d urge people to think before they buy. We’re delighted we could find a home for Gary but the fact is we simply do not have the space to accommodate the vast number of re-homing requests we receive.”
It’s probably a good thing Gary was not relocated here. In the south, most fish that size end up as dinner, not as pets.
Fact Finders, Fishie Facts -
There are over 25,000 identified species of fish on the earth.
It is estimated that there may still be over 15,000 fish species that have not yet been identified.
There are more species of fish than all the species of amphibians, reptiles, birds and mammals combined.
40% of all fish species inhabit fresh water, yet less than .01% of the earth’s water is fresh water.
The spotted climbing perch is able to absorb oxygen from the air and will crawl overland using its strong pectoral fins.
Some fish like sharks don’t posses an air bladder to help keep them afloat and must either swim continually or rest on the bottom.
Quotables:
Space is the breath of art. Frank Lloyd Wright
For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions. Lao Tzu
One of my all time favorite quotes: That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind. Neil A. Armstrong, Commander Apollo 11, as he stepped off the LM ‘Eagle’ and onto the Moon in the Sea of Tranquility, 20 July 1969
It is good to renew one’s wonder….. Space travel has again made children of us all. Ray Bradbury
To set foot on the soil of the asteroids, to lift by hand a rock from the Moon, to observe Mars from a distance of several tens of kilometers, to land on its satellite or even on its surface, what can be more fantastic? From the moment of using rocket devices a new great era will begin in astronomy: the epoch of the more intensive study of the firmament. – Konstantin E. Tsiolkovsky, Father of Russian Astronautics, 1896
Think About It…
Did you know that if you put Saturn in water it would float?
How fast were you going? We are moving through space at the rate of 530km a second….zoom zoom zoom.
If you weigh 100 lbs, your weight on the Sun would be 2707 lbs. (multiply your actual weight by 27). I may use the sun as my next weight gain excuse.
Did you know that moons are also called satellites?
The Sun rotates every 25-36 earth days.
Humor:
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse ? The Codfather
What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?…A croaking device
What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won’t make him truthful.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W FitchAcknowledgements: http://news.yahoo.com
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Just For Fun ~ 19 Adult Truths
05
Oct
1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. Pleaseeeee, let me have those back now!
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. I would use it almost exclusively.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Martha Stewart knows, do I have to be a con to figure it out too?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? Nobody can read mine except me. I prefer typing.
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. This isn’t a problem for me however, I work with a lady who can find anything on Facebook!
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. Sad but true.
10. Bad decisions make good stories, and occasionally the news.
11. You never know when it will strike, usually it’s after a particularly difficult situation, but some days there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with some form of alcohol than Kay.
15. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? No Boyfriend, this is not ok for you to do.
16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
17. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
18. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
19. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 8/26/2011
26
Aug
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”
Strange News:
A wave of “panda-monium” has swept through a northern Arizona city thanks to a mischievous street sign hacker who warned motorists of a “ROGUE PANDA ON RAMPAGE.” State transportation officials said Tuesday that a person was able to post the hoax warning by hacking into an electronic message board in Flagstaff, Arizona, over the weekend.
Rest easy, though. Authorities said the city is safe from pandas, if not from jesters. Officials said the message board alerting drivers to street improvements near a busy city intersection was probably altered late on Sunday or early on Monday. It was fixed by 11 a.m. local time on Monday. “Someone had to know what they were doing to go in and change the message,” said Mackenzie Kirby, an Arizona Department of Transportation spokeswoman. “It’s not easy.”
Kirby joked that there had been no sightings of any rogue pandas in the community, but she has been sent several photoshopped images via email of the cuddly creatures tooled up for trouble. In one picture, a panda is holding a machete. In another, it is toting a rifle. “We’re all getting a laugh out of this to be sure,” she said. Reporting by David Schwartz
TOLEDO, Ohio — Police in Ohio have discovered that small flags being swiped from a police memorial were being squirreled away. Two Toledo officers watched on Wednesday as a squirrel quickly snatched a flag off its wooden dowel and ran off with it. Lt. James Brown told The Blade newspaper the bushy-tailed critter was too quick to catch.
Later, police noticed a squirrel hanging out on a tree branch outside a third-floor window at their headquarters building. They also spotted a squirrel’s nest made of leaves and branches — and at least two of the little flags.
Brown says at least three of the flags have gone missing in recent days. He’s careful to point out he can’t prove all were the work of the same squirrel. The squirrel was last seen leaving his nest and is now at large.
Fact Finders:
Before being the Palmetto State, South Carolina was known as the Iodine State, and even had this on it’s license plates.
Go! …is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Your skin completely renews itself every 28 days….so THAT’S where all that dust comes from!
A piece of french toast that was partially eaten by Justin Timberlake sold Ebay for $3154. I guess some people have more money than sense.
An ostrich’s eye is larger than its brain. And they will eat anything that shines, anything at all. Many ostrich’s have died from having a stomach full of glass.
Quotables:
Nothing is interesting if you’re not interested. ~Helen MacInness
We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. ~Ralph Marston
So our human life but dies down to its root, and still puts forth its green blade to eternity. ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. ~Chinese Proverb
Think About It…
The name for “Oz” in “The Wizard of Oz” was thought up when the creator, Frank L. Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. You will be more alert from eating an apple than you will from drinking a cup of coffee.
Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating.
The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
Forty percent of us have had music lessons. I wonder how many of us can still play an instrument?
Humor:
A drug dealer decided to impress his friends by hiring a limousine for a big night on the town. His first stop was at a posh suburban residence to sell some cocaine to a rather influential individual. Hoping to earn a little extra profit by blackmailing his wealthy customer, the crook handed a camcorder to the limo driver and asked him to record the event for posterity. The driver, a an off duty police officer, was happy to comply. (true story)
Chess Players: A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.” (not a true story )
Years ago, when man cursed and beat the Earth with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s known as golf.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 8/19/2011
19
Aug
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”
Strange News By the Way of Strange Historical Facts:
Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the death of their cats.
Everyone in the Middle Ages believed — as Aristotle had — that the heart was the seat of intelligence.
In 200 BC, when the Greek city of Sparta was at the height of its power there were 20 slaves for every citizen.
In ancient Rome, a runaway slave was considered a criminal because he had stolen himself (i.e. the property of his master).
The punishment of a Vestal Virgin who broke her oath of chastity was to be buried alive.
In early Roman fathers could legally execute any member of his household as well.
Roman women especially enjoyed when their husbands went to war against Germany because the naturally-blond hair of Germans captured in battle would be used to make wigs.
The first-known contraceptive was crocodile dung and was used by the Egyptians in 2000 BC.
The condom was invented in the early 1500′s, and was originally made of linen.
The Hundred Year War actually lasted for 116 years – from 1337 to 1453.
The shortest war there has ever been was between Britain and Zanzibar during 1896. It lasted for a pathetic 38 minutes.
It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.
Fourteenth century physicians didn’t know what caused the plague, but they knew it was contagious. As a result they wore an early kind of bioprotective suit which included a large beaked head piece. The beak of the head piece, which made them look like large birds, was filled with vinegar, sweet oils and other strong smelling compounds to counteract the stench of the dead and dying plague victims.
In the Great Fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured.
In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.
During the time of Peter the Great, any Russian man who wore a beard was required to pay a special tax.
In 1892, Italy raised the minimum age for marriage for girls to 12.
Fact Finders:
Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined.
$203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.
Until October 30, 1983, Alaska had at various times in the states history, up to 4 time zones. On September 15, 1983, Elizabeth Dole signed a plan to reduce the time zones from 4 to 2 that became effective in October that year. Before this change, Alaska’s time zones were Pacific time (SE Alaska), Yukon time (Yakutat), Alaska time (E Cold Bay and W of Yakutat, including Nome), and Bering time (North coast of Alaska and the Aleutian chain).
The United States Postal Service handles over forty percent of the world’s mail volume.
There are 10 towns named Hollywood in the United States.
The longest word in the world is ‘Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu’
and is the name of a hill in New Zealand.
Quotables:
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. Groucho Marx
We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown
When written in Chinese the word “crisis” is composed of two characters – one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959
A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader’s Digest, June 1995
Humor:
Clean As Cold Water Can Get ‘Em: Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, ‘Are these plates clean?’
His grandfather replied, ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal’.
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, ‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’
Without looking up the old man said, ‘I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Now don’t you worry, I don’t want to hear another word about it’.
Later that afternoon, as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. Larry yelled and said, ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, ‘COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HERE ME!!!
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 8/12/2011
12
Aug
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”
Strange News:
Mutated Dog! It isn’t Halloween yet, but I’ve seen a dog that glows in the dark! In Seoul, South Korea scientists have created a genetically modified beagle they named Tegon. The female dog was born in 2009 from a cloning technique that incorporated the ability to glow in the dog’s genes. Tegon was created with the same techniques that Snuppy was cloned with back in 2005, without the ability to glow in the dark (Snuppy was the first cloned dog). I can’t say I’m a big proponent of cloning, but these are some of the claims pertaining to Tegon….
“The creation of Tegon opens new horizons since the gene injected to make the dog glow can be substituted with genes that trigger fatal human diseases,” lead researcher Lee Byeong-chun was quoted as saying. He further stated that because there are 268 illnesses that humans and dogs have in common, creating dogs that artificially show such symptoms could aid treatment methods for diseases that afflict humans. This technique could help find cures for human diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
Tegon has been found to glow fluorescent green under ultraviolet light if given a certain antibiotic. The researchers, who completed the two-year test, said the ability to glow can be turned on or off by adding a drug to the dog’s food. I’m glad it’s not genetically modified food that makes the dog green, or we would all be glowing soon.
Dark Corner Distillery, Greenville SC Touted as South Carolina’s first legal Moonshine, two entrepreneurs, Joe Fenton and Richard Wenger, are taking advantage of new micro-distillery laws in South Carolina to make and sell traditional moonshine whiskey legally. The distillery, housed in a 1925 building, will also include a tasting bar and a museum dedicated to the history of the Dark Corner, where the local mountains were once full of moonshiners, feud and mayhem.
The history is rich in the area with tales of moonshiners and the dreaded Tax Man that would come to arrest them and destroy the homemade stills. After the Civil War, a Federal excise tax was levied against private distilleries. Dark Corner settlers began placing their distilleries in woods far from roadways and conducting distilling operations at night so that smoke would not be visible to revenuers searching for illegal sites. This is where the name “MOONSHINE” came from for homemade whiskey.
I’ve always heard everything is timing. The legality of selling moonshine has happened this month in South Carolina. Last month in the same state the Spartanburg County Sheriff’s deputies arrested an Inman man in Landrum, SC after they found a moonshine still, up to 2,000 gallons of illegal liquor and $150,000. Officers also seized four vehicles, while deputies said there were two dozen 55-gallon drums at the still. The investigation started after narcotics officers received complaints about moonshine being sold at a roadside stand. Wonder if they deputies knew this law was on the verge of being passed? Guess the Dark Corner bunch won’t have to worry about this happening to them. I’ve tried a sip or two of Moonshine before. I hope what Dark Corner’s makes is better than the stuff I tried.
Fact Finders: Real Laws, Real Craziness!
In California it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.
In Florida men seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown can be fined.
In South Carolina it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping…
In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is: Death. ( Go figure…)
In Danville, Pennsylvania, fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires
Quotables from Johnny Depp:
It’s all kinds of these profound things crashing on you when your child arrives into the world. It’s like you’ve met your reason to live.
Anything I’ve done up till May 27th 1999 was kind of an illusion, existing without living. My daughter, the birth of my daughter, gave me life.
I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.
There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.
And my current personal favorite: Life’s pretty good, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m a pirate, after all.
Think About It…
The people most often killed in robberies are the robbers.
About 1 in 30 people, in the U.S., are in jail, on probation, or on parole. Yikes!
A man gets robbed in London every 4.5 minutes! (and he is getting fed up of it)
Nose prints are used to identify dogs, just like humans use fingerprints. On the same note, every zebra’s stripes are a different pattern.
Less than 10% of criminals commit about 67% of all crime. That 10% needs a new habit.
Humor:
An Anagram, as you may know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.
A few interesting examples:
Mother-in-law Woman Hitler
The earthquakes That queer shake
Debit card Bad credit
Slot machines Cash lost in ‘em
School master The classroom
Eleven plus two Twelve plus one
Dormitory Dirty room
Punishment Nine Thumps
Desperation A rope ends it
The Morse code Here come dots
Snooze alarms Alas! No more Zs
A decimal point I’m a dot in place
Astronomer Moon starer
Fir cones Conifers
The eyes They see
Payment received Every cent paid me
Conversation Voices rant on
The public art galleries Large picture halls, I bet
Election results Lies – let’s recount
Halley’s Comet Shall yet come
The Hurricanes These churn air
Can you come up with others? Please share in a comment.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 8/5/2011
05
Aug
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”
Strange News:
Owl leaves imprint on window in Kendal:
So, how about you? Have you left any good impressions lately? Well look at what I found, a near perfect imprint of an owl, found by Mrs. Arnold in her Cumbrian home. She said she could find no sign of the owl, so assumed it had flown off without serious injury. “Our first concern was for the welfare of what we suspected was an owl and we opened up the window to check if it was still around. Fortunately, there was no sign of the bird and we can only assume that it had flown away probably suffering from a headache.”
The bird’s imprint was from the powder down on the owl, a substance that protects the feathers as they are growing. An area expert stated: “This would have been very uncomfortable for the bird but thankfully it looks like it survived as Mr and Mrs Arnold couldn’t find it anywhere close by. Sadly, many birds aren’t so lucky.”
Threads to the Past: I love this story! In June of this year the Shanghai Sewing Machine Shop reopened. The shop is well known for the machines they used to sell, the Butterfly brand. Many in the area were reminded of their first machines, some of which were bought in this very shop. A few still own their Butterfly’s. There is an original 1920 Butterfly on display at the store.
The store is a general cloth and notions store as well. As in many places, the sewing art is being reborn in Shanghai, and even designers in the area are happy to have the goods in the reopened store available to them. Many women were strolling down memory lane the day the store reopened.
I love old sewing machines, I own a vintage Singer myself, so to me this was a very interesting and lovely story. My grandmother also owned a Singer much like mine and I use to sit and watch her put quilt tops together for hours. I hope the Shanghai Sewing Machine Shop has many years of success.
Quotables in the form of strange or funny ads:
Harrisburg postal employees gun club monthly practice meetings. Are they practicing going postal?
Georgia peaches California grown – 89 cents lb. Alrighty then…..
Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once – slightly stained. ‘Nough said.
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 – $9 per hour….. ?huh?
Exercise equipment: queen size mattress and box springs – $175 … No comment.
Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather (er, should that be mafia instead of mob?)
Lawyer says client is not that guilty. (One of those: “I didn’t lie. I only told part of the truth…” situations?)
“Alzheimer’s center prepares for an affair to remember”…..then they probably all forgot to show up….
Ground Beast: 99 cents lb. and Fully cooked boneless smoked man -$2.09 lb…. Thinkin’ maybe the hubbie was in trouble and didn’t know it.
Open House. Body Shapers Toning Salon – Free Coffee and Donuts (that way you’ll be sure to need the body shaping later)
Fact Finders:
Historical Fact: no one knows for sure how many people died during the sinking of the Titanic.
Animal Fact: Sheep can recognize other sheep from pictures.
Space Fact: Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Health Fact: The average tastebud lives only 10 days before it dies and is replaced by a new one.
Business Fact: Nearly 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong account over the hour.
Think About It…
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you eat lots of carrots, you’ll start to turn orange.
The military used toilet paper to camouflage their tanks in Saudi Arabia, during the Desert Storm War.
In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch Fun Fact Friday 7/29/2011
29
Jul
It’s Friday! Time to check out some odd-ball news, quotes I like, a few strange facts and some things that might make you pause and go “hmmmmm.”
Strange News:
Will Ford be able to plant a seed and grow a car one day? Well probably not, but…..What do mushrooms, dandelion root, wheat, soy and corn have in common? They may comprise key components of your car one day. At the Forward with Ford futuring and trends conference in Dearborn, Mich., sustainable materials guru Deborah Molesky explained to a group of bloggers, journalists and media personalities that the automaker’s goal is to not only manufacture, but grow, its parts in the U.S. Molesky joked that her group was “not very popular” when they started in 2000 – and oil prices were only $50-$60 per barrel. But the team kept working, and by 2008 when oil prices moved above $100 per barrel, their products like soy-based foam for seats were developed. “In a way, we were sort of neglected and left alone in the laboratory to develop this… Now, I’m proud to say that every vehicle built in North America has soy foam in the cushions and backs,” she said.
The opportunity to make a significant reduction in a car’s environmental footprint is significant. For example, Molesky’s group worked with wheat straw, a byprodcut of growing wheat, and added the material to plastics to reinforce them. The hybrid materials are part of the third row in the 2010 Ford Flex. Using the wheat straw reduces petroleum consumption by about 20,000 pounds and carbon dioxide by about 30,000 pounds per year. Among a number of materials, sugars made from corn, beet and cane are under consideration for biodegradable plastic parts, while engineers are also researching wood technology for interior trim. Wood has been used before in other vehicles, such as the Woodie, first seen in the ’30′s and 40′s.
Using these products is especially challenging, seeing they need to last 10 to 15 years in each car. Ford is currently using recycled materials in its cars, such as cotton from recycled jeans in the 2012 Focus as part of the carpet backing and sound absorption material.
Tats For Grades -For parents and teachers, it can be an uphill battle to get kids to do well in school. First it was cash for grades, now its … tats for grades? That’s what one San Francisco teacher promised his students if they improved their performance: a tattoo. Not for them, but for him. Stanley Richards, a science teacher at City Arts and Technology High School, vowed he would get a tattoo of their vice principal if students raised the school’s academic performance score by 50 points.
And not just any tattoo: Mr. Vice Principal would be portrayed as a sumo wrestler, holding a medallion of test scores and slaying a dragon. (Hope Mr. Richards has the number of a good tattoo-removal doctor.)
The students hit the books, and true to his word, Mr. R showed up on the last day of class with the vice principal’s mug on his calf.
Quotables:
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years. ~ Mark Twain
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body…then only left-handed people are in their right minds. ~ Anonymous
I can resist everything except temptation. ~ Oscar Wilde
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. ~ Charles Schultz
You must learn from the mistakes of others. you can’t possible live long enough to make them all yourself. ~ Sam Levenson
Fact Finders:
Blueberry juice boosts memory.
The world’s oldest known recipe is for beer.
The number one selling snack in the US is potato chips.
The United Kingdom eats more cans of baked beans than the rest of the world combined.
The average coach airline meal costs the airline $4.00. The average first class meal: $50.
Think About It…
Baskin Robbins once made ketchup ice cream.
If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone! Ouch!
A broken clock is always right twice a day.
99% of people cannot lick their elbow. . . .and there you go tryin’…..
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Angela W Fitch 
